White Flag!

For the past couple days, I've attempted to blog, but have given up and moved on to something more productive. So here goes something....

Our trip to Mississippi went very well. Most everyone of the nieces and nephews were there coming from Colorado and Florida. We hope that another year will bring them back and we can add Iowa, Ark. and Oklahoma to the festivities.

As we had planned, we visited the grave site of all those who have gone on, and this year there were several new ones. Since it was home coming for the church as well, we were able to renew some acquaintances and rekindle friendships, with promises to come more often. It really is an easy trip, but most difficult to make. We must do better.

I've finally thrown up the white flag of surrender on my squirrel battle. I'm not the kind to throw in the towel but found no way to win this constant war between the overgrown rats and myself! My daughter-in-law gave me the cutest bird feeder for Mother's Day, shaped like a gazebo with a nigh roof line. It is really pretty on the Shepard's rod in the front yard, but...It didn't take long for the bottom of the feeder to wind up on the ground. Like I say, at this point I've given in, until I can regroup and come back with better artillery.

I've gone to the deck for some quiet morning time this week. I do miss the birds, and have re-tuned my ears to those who sing in the trees, stopping occasionally to fly from branch to branch.

We'll be on the road again Friday. This time meeting three of our children in Okla. for the holiday week-end. We always look forward to our times together. I'm sure you will hear about my being in awe of at least five little boys under eight years old explore their world and try to conquer every one elses!

Until then, it is off to the Doctor again. Eye tests on Monday and Tuesday, and to the testing center for some neurological tests today. If you are not in the 65+ group, consider yourself warned...Like it or not, Doctors are in your future!

Grammyof13

The Dash!

A Willie Nelson song comes to mind tonight. "On the road again, I just can't wait to get on the road again..." I really would like to slow down and give the pocket book and the gas tank a rest, but we have not found a way to stay home - yet! We are fast getting there, but until then, it is on the road again.

My husband’s family reunion is Saturday in Miss. so it really will be a good weekend. The nieces and nephews are grandparents now, which make a completely new generation to be acquainted with. We have been gone for so many years; they have grown up while we were not looking. That is the importance of reunions don't you think, staying in touch so the next generation will have some clue as to who we are.

In addition, the country church where my husband’s family attended when they were growing up has their home coming the Sunday following Mother's Day. It will be more than a reunion after all, for the cemetery where his Mother is buried is at the church and walking through the enormous graveyard, it is like visiting everyone again. Moreover, with each tombstone, there is a story. No matter how often we go to the cemetery at the church, it is always the same. We remember Uncle John and Aunt Joy and the fun loving couple that left us with good memories.

Then there is Omri who was one of the best guitar players in that part of the world. Or L.D. who won fiddle contest any and every time he entered a contest. My husband’s memories are working for Mr. Mitchell on the farm, and how good he and his wife were to his family.

A neighbor of ours who kept our first two children while we worked. Visiting her grave always evokes pleasant memories of Beatrice. Then always there is MawMaw's grave among all her friends. A special lady who loved everyone and everyone returned that love to her. A special lady who always had the table set and urged all visitors to stay for supper. A special Mother who, like many others, prayed for her children.

Truthfully, on each Marker in between the birth date and date of demise, there is always a dash, and for each one there really was a life filled with touching others and making a difference because they lived. The dash is small. Doesn't matter. For there is too much to tell in so small a space, so the dash is sufficient. We who take time to visit now and then may not know everything about them, their heart aches and struggles, but we know enough to say they touched our life - and, because of many of them my husband did not go hungry, or without necessities, and for sure without friendships.

Grammyof13

Out of Balance!

I'll report that I had a nice Mother's Day. Spent the day alone in a lounging position in my favorite chair because of Vertigo! Sounds even worse when I put it in writing. but life has a way of happening and changing our otherwise well made plans. I hasten to add all my children checked in with me, so I was not forgotten.

A few days earlier I had gone back to the center that keeps my hearing aids functioning, and was told, "Mamm, it is like a big bulging knot on your tire. I tell you to be careful, don't drive fast or it will blow." I understood him so far.

"Then you decide to ignore me and drive 85 mph down the interstate the next thing you know you are laying over on the side of the road!" Boy, that was a vivid picture I did not want to happen.

"You have the propensity for this to happen at any time, and it will be real bad once it does. Your hearing loss has caused an imbalance. If you think you have had inner ear problems before, you ain't seen nothing’ yet."

Propensity was a new word to me, however it did not take me long to conclude I could be in deep trouble if I do not wear my hearing aids for balance. I figure I wear glasses to help me see better, so why not put aids in my ears to keep me from walking like someone whose had one snort too many!

I really do not think the power of suggestion had anything to do with my episode Sunday, for I am not of the nature to take suggestions on my health. I would rather ignore what they say is common, and hope it doesn't effect me! Oops, that is not good either!

Anyway, I should have felt it coming on Saturday when we were out getting Mother's Day flowers. My husband has no question as to what to do for me on Mother’s Day. For several years, I look forward to our day out trying to find the most beautiful basket of ferns to hang from the front porch. I added a basket of red impatiens this time, and immediately I like the way things are shaping up.

He had to make a trip out of State, so I promised to be a good girl, and stay close to home, which I had no problem obeying as I could hardly get to the kitchen for a bite to eat. Anyway, two days later I am feeling better and worked in my flowerbeds yesterday with hopes of doing it again this week.

However, I have an appointment to have my balance checked today (I know there is a better word, but right now I'll admit I don't remember what it is). I dread going, for it is an awful test - I'd rather do most anything than to have it done. I told the young man, "Son, I have to make sure my Will is up to date, my life Insurance premiums are paid, and my last wishes recorded before I will submit to another test."

I think he got the picture, I do not like having it done. I just figure I'd better have the knot on my tires repaired since I have the propensity for a blowout!

I trust your Mothers Day was also a memorable one!
Grammyof13

Sticky Notes and Other Reminders!

I've made jokes about living in a 19th century mode in a 21st century world. It may not be a joke after all. In fact, I didn't want to see this day come ever in my life when technology moved so fast I was left behind. I understand the aging process now better than 20 years ago, and grasp the realization that even though I want to keep up with the times, it is almost impossible. The brain moves slower and so does the body. With that in mind, be prepared to tell me something twice, maybe three times if you want me to remember it.

I thought it was a man thing, to hear only the last sentence of a five-minute list. Never the first, nor anything in between. It looks like I may have judged my husband too harshly for I seem to be in the same predicament. I haven't started making myself notes yet, but that may very well be the next phase.

I've often wondered what one would write on a note to themselves. "Remember to..." and then forget what to remember! Or "be sure to call..." then get interrupted and forget who it was you were reminding yourself to call.

There are personalities who will have sticky notes from the night stand to the bathroom, to the living room, then in the kitchen, all the way to the car, "get loaf of bread after work!"

Woe girl! That is not my intended thoughts for today. I just got side tracked and almost forgot what it was I was going to tell.

On our trip to Tenn. last week, my husband's cell phone decided not to work. While we were waiting out the storm, we decided it would be a good time to have it checked before getting on the road. "See, it does this when I try to use it", he said as he handed me the phone.

"It looks like a camera phone to me, but remember we didn't select a camera phone when we upgraded." I mused as I started my intelligent examination of the weird acting phone. "I can't get it to dial out either", I continued.

Being on the road with his job, a phone has become a necessity. He was a long distance trucker for 32 years and never once had one in the truck with him. It would have been nice then, to be able to reach him when we were in trouble around home, whereas we had to wait to hear from him when he stopped to change drivers.

We found an outlet to take the phone to and I showed the lady what it was doing!. "You have a camera phone", she said politely. DUH!

"I don't have a camera phone on our plan" I tried to sound intelligent.

"This is a camera phone. All phones today are camera phones"! She continued with patience.

"Well I do declare. I’m hanging around the 19th century still", I quipped only to have her look at me like that was nothing new. I went on to add, "It is kinda hard to get into the 21st century with all this technology". Her face lost its blank expression, when she realized she too was living in the 21st century.

As my phone had never shown any signs of being a camera, I figured that only he had selected one. "Oh no," she encouraged. "Yours is a camera phone also!"

Well la-de-da, now that I have a camera phone, what do I do with it? I think she was beginning to have fun with these two seniors with a newfound toy they were not sure what to do with! So, standing straight and tall, belly sucked in, and smile on our face we posed for a picture.

The phone’s wallpaper is now a hideous picture of the two of us trying not to look embarrassed at our blunder. I’m not real thrilled to have to look at a picture of myself each time I use the phone, but I failed to ask her what I’d have to do to get it back to normal. So far, I haven’t found anything interesting to take a picture of. I keep hoping; now to be able to share them with someone when I do. I may have to go back to the store and let the young woman show me that step. On second thought, she probably did, but I only remember the part about having a real, honest to goodness, camera phone!

I'm going to be all right, I promise.

Grammyof13

The Feeling of Organization!

Well it finally happened. The long anticipated but dreaded job of cleaning the storage shed and the garage is behind us. My dear husband thinks he is going to die from all the dust and "hard" work I have "made" him do. However even he likes the feel of the garage now that he can easily park the car without feeling he is going to chip the paint on the door when he opens it.

I did not even look in some of the boxes/sacks in the storage house. I figured if I hadn't missed it by now - I would be fine without whatever was in them, so I helped load the stuff on the trailer to be disposed of, and I didn't even have any feelings of emotional detachments!!

Don't you think life gets that way now and then? It is like spring-cleaning. My mother was one who did spring-cleaning and clean we did. From washing curtains to floors, everything was scoured, shined and polished each spring or shortly there after. Even though I had no feelings of responsibility, I will admit there was a special feeling of accomplishment after the job was done. As kids will be, I would rather have been doing my own thing than helping her do "her" job!!

Those were the days. The afternoon breeze with the sun shining down on the land was our clothes dryer. The Clothes washer was a tub of hot sudsy water and a washboard, (scrub board). A fire under the big iron kettle heated the water. Another tub was filled with rinse water, probably cold as cold water kills suds better. I wish for a clothesline to hang things out occasionally. The wish does not linger long on my lips, as I can see bird droppings ruining a pretty white sheet or towels.

I also planted some wild flowers in a special bed along with some calladium's On yes, Eddie came by while we were working today and he and my husband engaged in some serious talk about wrestling and such. He insisted on helping me, so I asked for his assistance in getting a shepherds rod into the ground and believe me he was a pro in handling the job. He stood proud as a peacock when he finished and listen to me tell him how I appreciated him and his willingness to lend a hand.

In the meantime - I am trying to recoup/regroup for another day of cleaning and hopefully making jelly this week. I may sound busy, but I'm loving every minute of it.

Grammyof13

We Do Not Walk Alone!

A memorable weekend to be sure. We left town early Friday morning on our way to Tenn., but wondered at what point we would be forced to decide we were not supposed to go. Often when odds are against us, when every problem imaginable keeps us from making progress, it is left up to the individual,I have decided as when to stop, reevaluate, and possibly take another course.

The rain did not start until we were gone from home about an hour. Not really stopping to listen to the weather news before we left caused us to be a little surprised when we found our self in the middle of the most blinding rain that it was a bit unnerving.

We chose to go through Jacksonville because of a stop I wanted to make. The rain, as I said, was so hard we could not see, we decided to pull into a sonic and wait it out. In fact the choices of a place to start were slim pickins. Eventually we were able to move on, however on I 40 about 50+ miles out the traffic slowed to a snail's pace of 5 mph. We learned that two semi-tractor-trailers had been blown over during the tornado that came through the area and with one going east and the other west they just happened to be passing each other on their side of the interstate, when the tornado decided to make its path across the Interstate. We never heard if either of the truckers was injured.

There was an inside force that compelled us on. Had I not felt so strongly about the purpose of the trip, I may have suggested that we turn back and forget about it. I am so glad we did forge ahead.

My sisters and I, six "girls" ranging in ages from mid fifties to early 70's met for a weekend together. Many years ago we had taken the same trip with our Mother and it was one of the highlights of her last years. It was only befitting that we go back to the same resort. Nestled in the Middle Tennessee heartland, on a beautiful lake, we got a suite of rooms and dug in for our visit. Each window of the three-room suite overlooked the lake facing the East. The morning Sun rose to a fog over the lake that caused the filtering light of the sun to cast shadows across the water as it dispelled the darkness of the night.

It is amazing how six women who have taken six different paths after leaving home in the 50's and 60's can still find something to keep the chuckles roaring, and the conversation going. We have had our reminiscing times before so much there were few times of "remember when?" in our conversation. Instead, we savored the precious few hours we were given with the thought ever looming close that this picture would not always be. We toasted one Sister wishing for her a good Doctor's report. On each of our heart was the running truth that we are getting older and for some of us, our health is in trouble.

Our Dad will celebrate 100 years of life in October, and even though his body has long given up taking him where he wants to go, his mind is still sharp. He has learned to maneuver the wheel chair - his room in the nursing home is next to a window - outside is a regular feeder, and a humming bird feeder is suctioned to his window. He seems to be content which gives our hearts rest, for otherwise it would be difficult for each of us to hear him beg to go home. As it is, one of the six daughters visits him almost daily so he knows this is the world that he will know until he steps over into the other world.

My husband and I cringed each time we pulled in to get fuel, but with each fill up we knew we had done the right thing, to keep going and barrel through the storm.

Life is like that. Giving up should not be in our vocabulary; never a choice. We must never look for a place to turn around and go back to where we started. The Israelites did that and they were miserable. Unable to find joy or contentment in their life as the God of Israel took them from slavery to a better life. When they lost their hope of a better tomorrow, I'm not sure, but it is a fact they started looking back to how it used to be and accused Moses of interfering with their "good life".

For us, the circumstances today are part of our path to the better life. "This too shall pass" could be our byline. And when we strengthen our stance with prayer, strengthen our relationship with Jesus, renew our friendships with friends, retie the bonds of sisterhood, it WILL GET BETTER. No bad report from a Doctor should be kept inside, but shared in prayer to the Father, with family/sisters, and friends. When we obey the Scripture from the book of James to "bear one another's burdens", we experience a load that is being evenly distributed among those who care. No one can take our place, but for sure we do not walk alone.

To my sisters, I am so glad we took off our aprons, removed our working gloves, and put supper on the back burner and let our husbands fend for themselves, to take a few hours of our life to share. Let's do it again soon!

Grammyof13